This is My Heavenly boot camp
September 5, 2021 7:44 AM
Hello brothers and sisters in Christ,
I have a message to share with you. Once again, this message started out as a personal message but then I understand it is also spoken to all of us and meant to be shared.
Just to give a little background regarding this word…
I am someone who struggles with self-defilement, self-abasement, self-hatred. You would think after 15 years of this walk with Jesus, our Father and Holy Spirit, that I would have learned all the lessons by now, to be and to stay clinging to Jesus, but from time to time, I still fall part and try running away from this calling on my life. I don’t feel worthy, deserving or even capable and sometimes, even though I know it, I forget that it’s God who’s in control. It gets so bad sometimes that I start speaking out loud for the devil as I tell myself horrible and terrible things about my self which causes me to spiral down into a depression and hopelessness, which only God can then pull me up from. This is a vicious cycle for me and sometimes (intuitively), I feel like it’s part of my cross but I also know (intuitively) there is coming a day when I will no longer do this to myself…I will receive deliverance from all bondage.
I am sharing this because I’m doubtful that I am the only one going through this and perhaps someone out there needs to hear this… that they’re not alone. I can honestly admit to this world that any strength I do have is not of my own and though I tend to throw in the towel from time to time, I know there’s no where else to go, I know that there’s no one else to turn to but Him. The answer to making me feel better and be restored was through worshipping God with music. I felt Him lifting my spirit as I raised my arms in the air reaching for him to embrace me. Always makes me feel better 😊
The Lord woke me up at the 3 o’clock hour per usual to do spiritual warfare, I guess from all the crying that I did last night, as I woke so tired, I looked at the time and asked the Lord if I could have one more hour before getting up, I felt like I received that grace and fell back to sleep. I woke again to the sound of a slow type of police siren and a vision of a meteor shower. Every one of these rocks were on fire and hitting the earth. They were everywhere. People were frantic, scared…After the vision ended I looked at my phone and it was 4:44.
Here’s the word our Father gave me last night after worship and after pulling me back up once again out of this self abasing mire. (Just an fyi…anything in brackets I’ve added myself for clarity of interpretation)
Sept 3/21 approx 10:30 PM
Daughter write my words,
My child, I need you as much as you need Me. Do you understand that? Do you understand that what you do for Me matters to Me as much as it matters to you, what I do for you? We are one My love, you have My heart and I have yours and nothing and no one including your running (away) will ever be able to change that fact. (Do) You know that I know every need of your heart, spirit, body and mind? Even things that you don’t know you need? Aren’t you glad daughter that I’ve got you?, That I AM watching over you, every minute of your days and nights? There is not one of those who are mine that are ever alone, ever in need, ever lacking for I AM your provider. I know, you’re thinking why don’t I give what you need in the moment you need? May I say, My ways are higher, but not always so high that you wouldn’t understand…I know when the solution is going to have the greatest impact, I know when it will penetrate the deepest, when it will bring the greatest clarity, when it will have the most meaning; it’s not always the time you need it.
Practice makes perfect. The more times you endure something, the more impact it has on you and your life. I see the perfect situation to bring My perfect solution. Do you trust Me daughter? I already know the answer…but when it gets too tough, you begin to shut down or run from the battle. A solider doesn’t run from the battle when they still have their weapon in hand…yes you get attacked and it gets overwhelming to the point where you run from it and then you fall into guilt, shame and self defilement for feeling like you have failed Me, but don’t you know, don’t you see with every time you go through this, you get stronger and stronger and you learn from each experience, what not to do next time. Tests, trials, refining fires, are not just about purification daughter, they are also about preparing you for the battle. Like boot camp. This is My Heavenly boot camp, as I’ve said before…and My soldiers, My warriors go through rigorous training that includes things that you must endure that My children out in the world (the lost) go through so you will know how to relate to them. Doing this teaches you to have compassion for someone that you wouldn’t necessarily have without going through it yourselves. Many of My warriors have suffered tremendously in their lifetimes, have been through many different types of hardships and afflictions. As well, most have experienced many types of great sins in your lives…many of you have had drug, tobacco, alcohol, sexual and food addictions (to name a few). Many have grown up in dysfunctional and abusive environments. All of these (experiences) were given you as part of (readying you for) your very ordained predestined future lives…see I know who will be My warriors in this great army and your lives were chosen; I don’t call you warriors for nothing. You each have earned this great title and position. You have endured and defeated many tests to prove yourselves worthy of this position you each hold. All you have been through in your lives, happened for, to ready you for such a time as this. Nothing will ever get in the way of what you were born to do…nothing.