A “COST” TO CONSIDER
January 4, 2021 12:04 PM
I have to be honest and say that my walk with the Lord has not been always been easy. In fact, there were times that were quite painful and challenging. One such time that comes to mind is when the Lord taught me that delayed obedience is really disobedience.
It all started with a phone call from my mother in the summer of 2018. She told me that another family member, who I will call Jamie, was in severe financial distress and could no longer afford the rent on her apartment. And she was considering moving in with her boyfriend as a solution. Well, as soon as I put down the phone, I started praying to the Lord for help in Jamie’s situation.
The answer came 2 days later in a vision. On 7/16/2018 I first saw a vision of three gold coins. Then I saw myself sitting down at my desk and writing a check payable to Jamie for a sizable amount of money. Then I saw myself writing a message to go along with the check. The message was “THE LORD SAYS “REPENT, REPENT NOW”.
End of vision.
Because of the size of the check, I wondered if the message was truly from God. Would He really ask me to give up so much of my money? To someone who was still harboring unforgiveness in her heart towards me? So I started asking for confirmation. On 8/6/2018 I came across a posting by Byron Searle called “The Vapor” at Byron Searle. At the very end it said “Reach as many lost as you can, share My Word to a lost world and asleep Church! YELL, REPENT!!! REPENT NOW!!! SEEK ME!!!” The verbiage “REPENT!!! REPENT NOW!!!” gave me pause. I wondered if this was the confirmation I was seeking. But I kept delaying. Weeks went by, and I was still uncertain what I should do. It was such a huge amount of money to sacrifice. Finally at the end of August I decided that I wasn’t 100% certain that God wanted me to send her the money, but the fact was that she was in dire straits, so I did it.
Naively, I thought everything would be okay. But by the time Jamie received the check, her apartment had already been leased to another. So she ended up moving in with her boyfriend after all. He turned out to be extremely abusive to both her and her dog. So she ended up moving out of her boyfriend’s home in early 2019.
On 1/3/2019 as I was lying in bed praying to the Lord, I heard the Holy Spirit say “I FORGIVE YOU”. I did not know what to make of that, but I recorded it in my journal anyway. About an hour later it dawned on me that if I had sent Jamie the money when the Lord asked me to, she would never have moved in with her boyfriend and underwent emotional abuse and torment. I realized that I had been disobedient to the Lord by delaying for 6 weeks and that Jamie had suffered unnecessarily because of it. I started crying out to the Lord saying that I was so sorry for not obeying immediately and would He please forgive me. Suddenly I remembered what I had heard about an hour before. I was flabbergasted! That meant the Lord knows what we are going to do even before we do! He knows the future!
PSALM 119:60 I made haste, and did not delay To keep Your commandments.
2 SAMUEL 24:24 Then the king said to Araunah, “No, but I will surely buy it from you for a price; nor will I offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God with that which costs me nothing.”
1 CHRONICLES 21:24 Then King David said to Ornan, “No, but I will surely buy it for the full price, for I will not take what is yours for the Lord, nor offer burnt offerings with that which costs me nothing.”
JOHN 15:12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no man than this; that a man lay down his life for his friends.
LUKE 14:28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, sits not down first, and counts the cost, whether he has enough to finish it? 29Lest perhaps, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him, 30Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish. 31Or what king, going to make war against another king, sits not down first, and consults whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him that comes against him with twenty thousand? 32Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation, and desires conditions of peace. 33So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsakes not all that he has, he cannot be my disciple.
John 12:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. 25He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal. 26If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour.
MATTHEW 16:24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. 26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? 27 For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.
LUKE 9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. 24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. 25 For what is a man profited, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or suffer loss? 26 For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he shall come in his own glory, and in his Father’s, and of the holy angels.