The Shameful Garment Dream
July 4, 2024 1:40 PM
Solitary Man
solitaryman.substack.com
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Last night I experienced an especially strange dream. I was in the city I had lived in most of my life, driving in from the small town I had grew up in. I was there for a concert. I had come with someone whom I had gone to high school with. This someone was one whom I was not a friend with, and had not even spoken to much at all when we were in school. In fact, I had not seen them for about 45 years, nor had I ever once even thought of this person in all that time! Why this person would show up in last night’s dream is a complete mystery to me.
Anyway, it was the middle of winter, and there was a lot of snow. It was very cold, and it was blowing snow. We ended up parking on some side street quite far away from the concert venue and had to walk to get there.
The venue was some sort of enclosed stadium, similar to a hockey arena, but smaller, or maybe it was just a very large concert hall. Our seats were in the very last upper row of the stadium, in the corner.
I remember that the lead singer was male. In the dream, I knew who the singer was, but in real life I did not know whom we were watching.
The strange thing was that I had covered myself with a blanket, to hide some clothing that I was wearing. The blanket was wrapped around my legs, to hide a garment that I knew was shameful to be wearing. I wanted no one to find out, as I would be embarrassed if anyone saw this garment in public.
I did not talk to anyone at the concert, not even my companion, whom I had no conversation with at all during the whole dream. I just sat there and listened to the music with the blanket wrapped around my legs, more to conceal what was underneath than for heat.
When the concert was over, we started walking back to our vehicle. We were walking down one of the main business streets of the city. It was dark, cold, and stormy, in the middle of winter. After we had walked a very long block and turned onto a side street, I remembered that I had left my coffee mug in the stadium.
I told my companion to wait where we had stopped in the street and I would hurry back and get my mug, and then we’d complete our walk back to the car.
I hurried back, still with the blanket around my legs to conceal what I was wearing. It was a very long block to traverse. When I finally got back to the stadium, the next performance’s guests were already filing in. I entered into one door and had to traverse several hallways to get to my seat. I was also trying to remember the twisted route I was taking, so I could retrace my steps and exit at the proper exit, or there would be a very real chance that I would become lost due to the storm outside.
I was thinking that first I would grab my mug, then take care of my shameful clothing, by changing into something normal. I seem to of had my normal clothing with me, ready to put on, but I had not yet done so. But the priority was to retrieve my coffee mug, which I used every day.
However, once I got to my seat, someone had placed their own garments on and under that seat. My mug was nowhere to be found. It was then that I realized that I probably did not bring my mug with me in the first place, and that the entire trip was wasted. I had left my companion alone on a side street in the middle of a terrible storm, quite far away, all really for nothing. I was still wearing the shameful garment, then I woke up.
What to make of a dream such as this? I confess that I had real doubts of even sharing this, yet God has seemingly confirmed to me that I should write this one out, so here goes. The one major clue I look for in my dreams is that if I dream something out of my past, when I’ve gone to bed and nothing of the sort was on my mind, then that seems to be a signal that God is trying to communicate some thing.
The storm is upon us. It is real and it is here to stay. Yet how many of us are still engaged in the pleasures of this life (ie, attending a concert), regardless of how difficult it is to partake of these so-called ‘normal’ things? There was a serious storm, yet that did not stop me from going to this concert. We had to walk a long distance in very uncomfortable elements, yet that was no hindrance. We were still bound and determined to go. Even if we had probably the worst seats in the house (ie, last row, furthermost corner from the stage), that did not deter us.
This sort of reminds me of stories I heard of people getting the shots, just so they could continue to go to restaurants, or sporting events. Ready to throw their health away just so they could have one more day of the pleasures of Egypt. Or those who have simply shut their souls off from hearing about what is going on around them, desperately trying to continue with their way of life, as the storm rages all around them.
What about this person I went to the concert with? This person, whom I hardly knew, and who I had not even had one thought of in the last 45 years? What is the significance of them? Even though it was a she, I did not speak of that as it did not feel like a date, but only that she was there with me. We did not communicate, or really interact at all.
Perhaps she represents a longing for things of the past. For things to go back to normal. Or perhaps this represents something out of our past that we have totally forgotten about that will rise up and reenter our life in one way or another. In the dream, she was just there. No rhyme or reason. Perhaps this is a warning that for no apparent rhyme or reason, something from your past, even something from very long ago, may suddenly appear in your life. I leave it up to the reader to ask the Lord if this symbol means anything to your personal situation, as I confess I am somewhat at a loss over this particular image.
What I do know is that the main symbol of this dream centered around the shameful, embarrassing garment that I was wearing, and the blanket that I had wrapped around my legs continually, never taking it off, no matter where I went, or what activity I was engaged in. If I was in the car, I had it on. If I was walking, or even running, even in a severe snowstorm, I made sure that I had it on, no matter how much it hindered me. If i was sitting in a public place, I was consciously aware of wearing it, in order to hide something embarrassing underneath. In short, it was sort of the central focus of my life, covering up what I did not want others to see.
We all need to ask ourselves: ‘Am I covering up some secret sin, some shameful habit, attitude or thoughts that I wrap a blanket around, consumed with keeping the real me hidden from everyone else’? In this time when the storm is all around us, is our main focus on continuing to conceal that shameful thing in our lives? Are we afraid to come out in the open, confess our sin, and ask Jesus to set us free? What will it take for us to get rid of that blanket, that covering that we use to hide that unclean garment that we’ve wrapped around us? Is it our thought life, some addiction, some recurring sin like lust, or perhaps unforgiveness or bitterness? Or maybe it’s just some character fault that we’ve covered with our own rationalization that we are just born with that character defect, and that there is nothing we can do to change it? May God give us the true humility and courage to face up to that hidden fault and deal with it once and for all!
On a broader note, perhaps there is someone out there reading this that does not really have a wedding garment. You know deep down inside that what you are wearing is not a garment of righteousness, but a garment of shame. You keep it covered up really well with the blanket of deception and self justification. Are you really sure your garment is spotless and clean, or are you wearing a garment of shame?
It brings to mind this passage from Matthew:
Mat 22:11 And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment:
Mat 22:12 And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless.
Mat 22:13 Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Mat 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.
If there is any doubt, enter your secret place and make sure once and for all that your garment is ready!
Finally, we come to the all elusive coffee mug. Why was I so certain that I had carried it with me into the concert? Why, after such a long, dreadful walk back to the car, did I suddenly think that I could not leave unless I retraced my steps and retrieved it? Why was I willing to leave my companion out in the miserable weather, and order her to wait right there, in the cold and the snow, until I went and got it back? Why, when I finally made it back to my seat, was it not there? And why, when I had gone to all that trouble to get it back, only then did I realise that I probably never had it in the first place?
These are all troubling questions, and hard to answer. I almost feel like this one particular dream may have more than one general meaning, in that God may of sent it in order to speak different things to different people. Perhaps this one dream, more than any other that I have previously had, is more the responsibility of the listener rather than the dreamer to take it to the Lord and see what he has to say to you personally.
That mug could represent the one thing that we are clinging to in this world that we believe that we cannot do without. We are willing to go to any lengths to keep a hold of it, if we think we have lost it. I was willing to re-endure that long, awful walk, hobbled in my blanket, to go and get it back. I was willing to abandon my companion in perilous circumstances in order to lay hold of it once again. Even my own personal state of known shame, ie, the shameful garment that I knew that I was wearing, was secondary in the face of losing that mug! Thus, I was willing to continue in my shameful spiritual state, as long as I had that cherished mug, which I relied on each and every day to get me through. Yet after suffering all the hardship and misery and thoughtlessness in attempting to retrieve what I thought I had lost, it was only then I came to realize that the mug was an illusion, that I never had it in the first place.
Different interpretations come to mind. What is the one thing in our lives that we are not willing to do without? Is it our great wealth, like the rich young ruler? Is it family, like the disciple who wanted a leave of absence from following Jesus in order to go and bury his father? Is it a hobby, a friendship, a certain food, a habit? What are you willing to go through to ensure that you never permanently lose what you believe to be so crucial for your life? Have you come to the place where you finally realize that the object’s value was merely an illusion? Does it disappear when you seem to need it the most? Having expended so much effort, that you are willing to throw other people under the bus, so to speak, in order to preserve it, has the value of it finally become manifest to you, in that it really is worthless? Are you willing to not deal with your shameful state, because this one thing you are clinging to is too important compared to everything else?
These are just some of the thoughts that have been given to me as I meditated on this latest dream. May the Lord truly grant you a spirit of wisdom and spiritual understanding as you read these things. May God grant you heavenly discernment as you examine your own heart, to see if there is something hidden there that he wants to bring to light, in order to ensure that you are clothed properly for the marriage supper of the Lamb that is sure to come.
Solitary Man
https://solitaryman.substack.com/
